Ryanair is a Pile of Shit

Yes, for those of you who are lucky enough to avoid the shit that is Ryanair, I think they have really just about taken the last step (which is the last point on my cons list....I sort of lost track at the start of this post).

Let's look at the pros first.

They're cheap.
Yes, they are. Well, they used to be really, really cheap, now they're just a little cheaper than their rivals in most cases, unless they have a sale on, in which case you get the ticket for cheaper, but taxes, luggage, credit card fee, and check-in charge are the same. Woo.

They're easy.
Hmmm. I guess. Although no easier than other airlines - and with others, there aren't so many nasty hidden charges.

They're friendly.
My arse. Have you seen the people who work for Ryanair? Have you see the programme 'Airport'? It's like that but staffed by even less sensitive consumer minded (HA!) staff. Incredible.

I think that's it.

Now, let's look at the cons.

They're expensive.
Well, expensive comparatively speaking. Let me demonstrate.
A flight to Barcelona from the 21st August to the 28th August, including everything, costs me 1392 kroner with SAS. Leaving from Copenhagen, arriving at Barcelona airport.

With Ryanair, it costs me 937 kroner, leaving from Århus, arriving at Barcelona Girona.

For the extra 455, which I'll gladly pay, I'll get;

Nice people!

Customer service!

Direct flights (no extra travel charges the other end)!

Decent flight times!

Intangible things that you can't put a price on; the things that are making the difference in the service industry - indeed in any industry - today. Ryanair really need to wake up and smell the goddamn coffee.

I know that's not the best example (different departure cities). The best was when Sterling was still flying between Århus and Gatwick. Pay about 300 kroner more, and you gained the same benefits as just said. Oh to fly to Gatwick! How I love that airport.

Hidden charges

 Extra costs lurk around every corner. I know it's been in the press a lot recently about how airlines can advertis

e £5 flights, and then charge for luggage, credit card fee, check-in, taxes, breathing, eating, sleeping and living. It's a load of shit.

Anyway - moving on.

Flight times
As said, their departure times and arrival times are balls. Really. It either means you have a nightmare arriving or leaving, and that's not something you want to deal with after survived the Ryanair flight, or after you've enjoyed a weeks holiday.

Direct flights?
Flights are never in to the actual city, but a good distance away, only adding to the overall cost of the journey.

Unfriendly
Customer service does not exisit. They throw you on like cattle, and throw you off the other end.

American?
There is an American voice over telling you about their creamy caffe latte - wtf?! An American? Is that supposed to make me want to buy their outrageously overpriced coffee and (limp) food? Seriously - why, Ryanair, why?

Bloody clapping
They have an automated 'clapping' sound for when they land ontime. What am I? 12? Even when they're not on time, it 'claps'. I hate this. You should be on time - it's not something that should be treated as exceptional.

Toilet charges?
I know this isn't in force yet, but the actualy cheek of even considering it - charging for using the toilet?! Oh my God! I just can't believe it! It's incredible! Talk about extra costs!

Standing during flights
Again, something not in force, but something that if they even think of it, only demonstrates to me the fact that this is not an airline, but essentially a scam.

I just hate this airline with a passion. I wish, wish, people would realise that for just a few quid more they could travel in comparative luxury. I relish it when not flying with Ryanair. I really, really do. Having lived in Århus for 6 years, the only way home for a long time was Ryanair (until Sterling went cheaper and saved my life), and it really made me dread going to visit friends and family. That isn't how you should start a holiday.

I know it's the only option for many, so perhaps they should just concentrate on getting decent bloody people as employees - especially those who have customer contact! How did things get to where they are?! I've seen people who don't have English as their first language shouted at, actually shouted at, like in a comedy skit; "I SAID. TO GO. OVER. THERE!" Shouting doesn't help, you retard! It makes me so fuming mad.

Anyway. That was my morning rant.

I hate Ryanair. Fullstop.